Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
You know what would have been funny if we got arrested last night? The inventory search of the lock box:\n\nContents:\n1 work ID\n1 33 round Glock magazine\n1 set of keys\n1 vibrator\n2 bags fruit snacks\n1 parking hang tag
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
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