This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
The shower rod just came down while I was pooping. I caught it though and the curtain stayed on, so I'm not sure if it's a good or bad omen for the rest of my day
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
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