so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
Randomize
