Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
At first I was confused when I woke up with shards of glass and pickle brine in my pants. But then I remembered I hung out with you last night.
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
Pretty sure I just became the first person ever to use the word "boner" in a wedding card...
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
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