I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
Randomize
