She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
And then the night went full on bisexual.
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
Did you finish that presentation yet?
No but don’t worry about it. I do my best work in the middle of the night. I’m like a hamster.
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