You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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