Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
Someone shattered a urinal.
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
Randomize