There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
Randomize
