so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
Randomize
