I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
So called my VP's house on Sunday drunk and told him that if he didn't hire me for the new position I would skull fuck his wife. They asked me to go home today. Thanks again Vodka
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
I'd cum for enchiladas.
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
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