I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
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