If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
You told my mother that her salad dressing tasted like semen.
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
Randomize
