I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
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