I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
I wish I had my own personal Asian lady that lived under my bed so that she could wax my eyebrows and give me a pedicure whenever I wanted.
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
Randomize
