I can text with my tongue
The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
Randomize
