Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
I forgot how hot balto sounded
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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