i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
It's not mothers day until you're vomitting syrup into grandma's toilet. Cherish the holidays
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
Randomize
