So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
can we get nightvision for the apartment?
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
Randomize