Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
guess who was drunk and crawling in the middle of the road and got brought home by the police last night? HINT: ME
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
Our house almost burnt down last night. I woke up at 4:10am to the smoke alarm going off bc the bean bag chair was on fire so i extinguished it and smoked a bowl at 4:20 to celebrate my fire extinguishing abilities
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
Randomize
