sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
Randomize
