it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
mom just texted me "hawaii ambien". those are like the two things she talks about to keep me interested in spending time with her.
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
If there's one thing I think I could really excel it, it's curating a midlife crisis
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
Randomize
