that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
Flying into Chicago for a few days, getting re-deployed in September, we should probably fuck
Kristina got the same text from you just now, she's sitting next to me, how many people did you send this to?
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
I just don't think it's that outlandish to ask that I don't get messages from my husband at 8:30pm on a Wednesday telling me he peed on our cat
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
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