This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
Randomize
