I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
Randomize
