distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
This couple is walking their pig around campus
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
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