I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
The best walk of shames are on the highway
Randomize
