Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
Randomize
