and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
Randomize
