ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
what's the name of the guy at the bank you blew to get the lower interest rate?
um. wrong number, but good luck with your loan
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
Randomize
