Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
she gave me a handjob in the middle of the night and my stomach growled so she walked out totally naked and came back 5 minutes later with two sandwiches. who the fuck says getting married is awful?
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
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