Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
