Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
Randomize
