How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
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