it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
You know I love you more than life itself, but love has its limits. And so help me god, if you bail on me, I will fucking watch the last Game of Thrones episode without you.
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
Randomize
