where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
Randomize
