ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
Randomize
