I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
bring money and cleavage
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
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