At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
Hey, don't blame me for the shitty evening; I wasn't the one who promised hookers, Dos Equis and foster kittens. Keith was.
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
Randomize
