The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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