i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
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