wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
Randomize
