you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
Randomize
