To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
Randomize