this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
Sacagawea was the original milf.
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
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