talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
Randomize
