you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
Randomize
