We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
it was like having sex with a tree stump
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
You brought string cheese to the strip club
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
Randomize
