im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
Randomize
