i already hear my dad disowning me
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
A homeless man walked up to me at the bar, pointed, and told me to get my shit together. Jesus?
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
hi, I love you... and I'm sorry your floor is covered in popcorn, your cabinet is broken, all your alcohol is gone, you're 80 dollars poorer, everything in your bedside table is soaked in beer, austin slept in your bed in those disgusting underwear, I made out with your toilet seat, and for talking to your mom with a four loko in my hand
Randomize
