Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
He has the fingertips of a God
Randomize
