Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
Randomize