the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize
