i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
Your topless pictures make me question reality
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
Randomize
