everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
There's a naked man in my car right now.
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
Randomize
