I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
