I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
Bang-toberfest begins!!
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
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