Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
Randomize
