I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
Randomize
