Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
Randomize
