But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
Randomize
