He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
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