Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
Randomize