She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
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