I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
Worse: texted mom-in-law by mistake that I sharted.
Worser: she offered to clean me up
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
Randomize
