I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
Randomize