She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
party gras won. party gras always wins.
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
Randomize
