Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
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