I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
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