He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
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