He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
Randomize
