Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
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