What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
Doctor took one look at my penis and said, 'you don't have herpes, you just masturbate too much'
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
Randomize